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This CD is, well, fun.  It's also a bit on the adult-oriented side. Only one song really pushes that limit though. So if you are very "PC" or you get easily offended this probably isn't the disc for you.

            Click the button to hear samples of each song.                                          

WARNING: EXPLICIT LYRICS AHEAD!!

LYRICS

Is There Something Wrong With Me (or are you just a bitch?)

Is there something wrong with me
Or are you just a bitch
I treat you like princess
Even when you act like like a wicked witch
I'd give my life up for you
And you'd leave me dying in a ditch
Is there something wrong with me
Or are you just a bitch

Well over and over I've tried to win your heart
You took all of my money and even pawned off my golf cart
I give you my heart and a place to stay
I try to give you some sugar but you just push me away

So...

CHORUS

You told me that you loved me and you looked me in the eyes
But if you're mouth is moving you're probably telling lies
I guess I should know better I should probably let you go
But I can't bring myself to believe that I've been dating a ho

CHORUS

Beer Bong

I went to the Home Depot
Didn't go for a rake or a hammer or a hoe
Didn't need not nails or a pair of pliers
I was pickup me up some party supplies

(pre-chorus)
A little plastic tubing and a funnel that fits
Some one-inch clamps ought to do the trick
Hold it up high 
Fill it up with beer

There's 1 2 3 4 5 6 beers in a beer bong
If we keep drinking like this the night sure won't last long
The keg is starting to float but it's not /it aint all gone
Cause there's 1 2 3 4 5 6 beers in a beer bong

We invited Bobby to our chug-a-lug
He walked in and said "Boys fill my mug"
But his eyes opened up as wide as the Chunnel
When he saw all that beer floatin' in that funnel
Pre-chorus
Chorus
Oh Lordy I'm forty am I too old for this?
Partying like a fool and drinking like a fish
I'm supposed to be on a low-carb diet tell am I wrong?
For drinking 1 2 3 4 5 6 beers from a beer bong

Pre-chorus
Chorus

To Hell With Me

I heard I'm going to hell for what I've been doing
For cussin', smokin', drinkin', dancin' and certainly for screwin'
There's just one thing that I know
The people I've been doing bad with will be with me when I go so

To hell, hell, hell, hell with me
It's gonna' be a hot old time down in hades
To hell, hell, hell, hell with me
Drinking and smoking and dancing all night
The devil may be bad but he parties right
To hell, hell, hell, hell with me

Of course I'd rather be good than be bad
But then I think of all the fun times that I've ever had
I'm sure that heaven is a pretty sight
But I hear that the bars close at nine o' clock at night so
CHORUS
LEAD
Whiskey, wine and women sure will be the death of me
I may not get my angel wings but I'll be happy as I can be so
CHORUS

Buck  Nekkid

You've been watching me girl I've been watching you too
Anytime that our lovers would make us feel blue
I say to hell with them tell you what we should do
Let's forget about those losers and just go home and screw

You say that he don't love you and you know I don't love her
The way they treat us just isn't right
We'll take a break from being mistreated
Let's get buck nekkid tonight
LEAD BREAK
Your love won't give you what you need and mine's been neglecting me
One of thes days they're gonna be sorry just you wait and see
Cause I'll put a smile on your face and you'll put one on me
I'll take off these Levi's and you'll drop them panties
CHORUS
LEAD BREAK
CHORUS

Wine Hangover

Well I put in the screw and pop out the cork
It's dinnertime but I don't need a fork
I plan on being full before I leave the table
I'll pop the top on another that is if I'm able

The only thing worse than having
A wine hangover
Is not having any wine at all

My baby left me because I love my wine
But it's better than sex I don't have to cuddle all the time
And my empty bottle don't tell me how bad I am
So I'm drunk and lonely but I don't give a damn
Because
CHORUS
LEAD BREAK
Well it's the drink of the gods and the winos too
It's good for heartache and it'll cure the flu
I'd wander round praising its name if I could walk
I better finish this song while I can still talk
CHORUS
Wine is so fine cause whiskey makes you sicker
Besides I get crazy when I drink liquor
Once while drinking tequila I thought I was a cocker spaniel
So I sniffed a girl in the crotch and she beat me with a broom handle

  CHORUS

(I Did Everything) But Fuck Her

I picked her up at half past nine
And she sure was looking good
When I saw that short, short skirt
I damn nearly sported wood

I parked the car out by the lake
I was giving all she'd take
But she wasn't putting out
When it came to sex she put on the brakes

I did everything but fuck her (but fuck her, but fuck her, but fuck her)
I did everything I could (but fuck her, but fuck her, but fuck her)
But she wouldn't give me any
Now I'm blue-balled and sportin' wood 

She let me kiss her on her cheek
I got my hand right up her shirt
She put her hands in my britches
While I was playing up under her skirt

Then she pulled off her panties
I pulled my dick out of its lair
But when I tried to put it in her
She said "uh-uh oh no don't put it there"

CHORUS

Later on that very evening
While she was safely home in bed
I went to hang out with my buddies
With a pounding in both heads

They asked me if I got lucky
Did we do it til we turned red
I hate to lie to my good friends
So I just turned to them and said

CHORUS

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